Prayer of the penitent

 

 

Matthew 6:25-34

We've been talking about prayer in our Wednesday evening services at the Church of God.  Coming from the model of prayer in Matthew 6, we've talked about how we pray, what our expectations are when we pray, what we believe happens when we pray, and whether or not our prayers are heard and/or answered.  Later in the chapter, Jesus talks about something that hits very deeply for me:  Anxiety.

I don't think it's a coincidence that in the same chapter Jesus teaches us the model prayer (the Lord's Prayer), and addresses our worries about life.  I believe that he did this purposefully and with intent because he was aware of the things that consume us.  The things that consume ME.  The crux of verses 25-34 is in the last verse: 

So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This exact thing is something I have such a difficult time doing!  I've gotten better over the years, but I am here to tell you:  When the money is gone and bills are still coming due; when the kids don't have any clean clothes to wear and I can't afford laundry detergent;  When I don't know where the money is going to come from to keep the lights on...this is the verse I get stuck on.  I don't know how many times in my own life, God has been faithful to walk me through whatever situation I am in, but I can tell you, I am still here, I am still clothed, and I am still in love with God.  I know that's not the 'in' thing right now in today's world of personal truths and subjective facts, and to be frank:  I don't care.  The world is a harsh, cold place most days.  It doesn't, by and large, do freebies and mulligans.  It exacts a price on the unwary.  

I don't want to whitewash the truth here and make everyone think I believe everything is always alright.  I'm not that person.  I don't usually have a sunny and bubble outlook on life; however, I have observed in my life that the more I rely on God's grace and mercy, the more I /can/ rely on His grace and mercy.  Bills have been miraculously paid just in time.  Illnesses have healed when they shouldn't have.  Peace and understanding have come in the midst of interpersonal storms that have blown for years.  These things have no reason to happen, yet as the lillies of the field are clothed in splendor today and thrown into the fire tomorrow only to die, life has its vagaries and blessings that most people just gloss over and shrug at and accept as their due and move on.  I have a difficult time accepting these blessing as being due to me, as I am sure others do also.  However, I also know from experience that God provides for us, in our daily needs. In our times of peace and in our times of struggle, God sends his provision of Grace (that's big-G grace in the form of salvation from our sins) that we may accept it freely without reserve, every day, renewing our walk with Him.  He also provides grace (little-g grace) that we may be blessed in our day to day struggles.  The beauty of a sunrise when we feel untethered from the safe harbor we are used to, the balm of an apology from a loved one who has held a grudge against you, the salve of fellowship and working hand in hand with a Christian brother or sister toward a goal that is larger than ourselves - not for personal gain, but for the ability to bless others.

Again, I tell you, I struggle with the part about not worrying for tomorrow.  As I write this, my bank account is over $400.00 in the hole.  I only have a part time job that pays me less than $1000.00 a month, my wife had to retire due to her health issues and has barely been able to find any kind of part-time work over the last year and a half to try and keep us afloat.  We have 4 adopted children, one young man who we love as a son and are trying to care for (we would dearly love to be able to legally adopt him as well, but can't afford to), and a Godson who we also love as one of our own who is currently living with us because he has landed on hard times and is trying to piece together a broken heart and rebuild a life for himself and his kids.  One of our sons has a part time job...that's 8 people currently living on 3 part time jobs y'all.  Our life ain't easy at this point, but it HAS been blessed.  

I can't tell you what tomorrow is going to bring.  
I can't tell you that I will have the money to keep the lights on this month.
I can't tell you that we will have the money to buy and do birthdays and Christmas this year (two birthdays this month!).  

What I can tell you is this:  The lillies in the field are clothed in splendor, and tomorrow they will be thrown in the fire.  The birds of the air do not sow nor harvest, yet they eat and are well.  We were told that if we have faith the size of a grain of mustard, that mountains would hear and obey our commands, and I have faith that my God is bigger than my bills.  I have faith that my God is bigger than my anxieties about my children's lives, their work ethics, their mistakes and mishaps.  I have faith that my God will provide, for He always has.  

My prayer today is this:  For me, for my personal life, I pray that I will always adore God and sing his praises no matter my situation.  I pray that I will always share my blessing with others and never become so cold of heart and filled with anxiety that I let other people miss out on the blessing that is the grace and mercy of Jesus that is in my life - even if I end up living in a cardboard box.  I have faith that God will provide, I have faith that God loves me because He watched his own boy get nailed to a cross after being tortured beyond the point of recognition - not because he is a callous, uncaring God, but because He knew that I needed salvation from my sins...because he knew that through that storm of suffering Jesus went through, it would ameliorate my own suffering.  By His stripes I am healed.  Healed of my anxieties, healed of my fears, healed of the deep wounds of my own personal sins that otherwise would have driven me to despair long ago were it not for his Grace, his Mercy.  

For you, for yours, I pray the peace of God over your life, I pray that a deeper understanding of His love be upon you so that you would not be paralyzed by fear, nor hobbled by anxiety.  My prayer is that in a closer walk with God, you will come to take each day as its own challenge to your faith, and that your faith will rise to meet the challenge.  When I am feeling low, when you are feeling unworthy, we are to remember:  Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of its own.  God provided yesterday, he WILL provide today.  

Prayer for today

Dear gracious and holy Father, I praise your powerful and wonderful Name above all else.  I cling to your promises, I hold you to your Word because you are faithful.  I pray that I am centered in your perfect will and in being centered there, that I am always grateful for each opportunity that arises in my life to exercise my faith in you, my trust that your perfect will for my life has a purpose.  Forgive me for my sins of doubt and fear, for those times in life when I despair and my faith wavers.  I pray that my faith would rise, that it would be a beacon of hope in others so they may know the wondrous glory of reliance upon the maker of all things, that we have a Creator who is in love with his creation, enough so that you would pour out your blessings on our lives no matter our circumstances.  I thank you Lord that you love me, not for my bank account or my circle of friends nor the works of my hands, but for who I am, who You made me to be.  I pray that I can be a blessing to others today, and I'm going to release tomorrow into Your hands because after these short 46 years of my life, I have well and truly learned that I am not in control, but I know the One who is.  I praise your name Oh Lord, and I love and trust in you, that you will be my rock and my shelter in all the storms of my life.  I praise you Jehovah-Jireh, and lift your name above all names.  

 

Amen.